A Crazy Day at Shigure's
by kenzieee4
Summary: All Tohru wanted to do was make dinner. All Yuki wanted to do was avoid a fight with Kyo for at least five minutes. All Kyo wanted to do was beat Yuki. However, of course this didn't happen. After all, when Tohru starts listening to the radio and singing, it all goes downhill from there. UTTER. CRACK. Just warning you. T for swearing.


**A/N: Okay so..this used to be in another story of mine. But I decided that it didn't belong there and I decided to fix it up and make it a separate story. COMPLETE. CRACK. **

**I don't own Fruits Basket.**

-In Shigure's House...-

All Tohru wanted to do was make dinner. All Yuki wanted to do was avoid a fight with Kyo for at least five minutes. All Kyo wanted to do was beat Yuki.

Tohru turned on the radio and began singing to the music.

"I mean excuse me, you're a hell of a guy," Tohru sang. Yuki, who thought she was talking to him, just stared at her for a moment. Kyo hissed angrily, thinking the same thing. Yuki was certainly not a 'hell of a guy' so he attempted to tackle the rat, but was stopped when a car suddenly broke through the wall and stopped on his foot.

(Now before I tell you what happened to poor Kyo's foot, I thought I'd add this so you're not confused. Tohru realized what was going on when she had sang. And she had found it amusing, so she decided to tell a few of the Sohma's that they were a 'hell of a guy' to see their reactions.)

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL! GET THIS CAR OFF MY FOOT GOD DAMNIT!" the cat shouted, so angry it's a wonder he didn't explode. After sitting there for a moment, the car lazily rolled of of Kyo's foot.

"HATORI DID THE DRIVING! HATORI DID THE DRIVING!" Momiji shouted as he jumped out of the car. Hatori and Hatsuharu followed him.

"I did not. Momiji did the driving," Hatori sighed. Kyo glared at the bunny boy then hobbled off to try to bandage his foot.

"It's DOCTOR DEPRESSION!" Kagura yelled as she suddenly burst through the whole in the wall. Shigure started crying because his wall was destroyed.

"Now now, that's not a nice thing to say," Tohru sighed. Kagura sighed and began pouting.

"Well...I don't know why I even came here..." Haru pointed out randomly.

"You're a hell of a guy as well Haru," Tohru chuckled. Haru gawked at her. Yuki sighed.

"Um...why are you telling everyone that?" the rat asked. Tohru shrugged.

"I dunno. It's fun to see people's reactions," she replied. Everyone in the room face-palmed, including Doctor Depression.

"Oi, Doctor Depression," Kagura called out. Hatori sighed and nodded in response. "Why are you always so depressed?" she asked as she began pounding on the car.

"Kagura, don't you have something important to do?" Shigure asked, randomly tackling the girl like he tackled Kyo in that one episode. Everyone's eyes widened at the act a rapist would do.

"When you divert the subject, it somehow reeks of something illegal," Hatori pointed out dryly. Shigure mock glared at him before pulling Kagura into another room. All of a sudden, Ayame ran into the the house through the same hole.

"I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!" he yelled happily, hugging Yuki like a madman. Hatori sighed.

"Stop it right now Ayame," he said forcefully. The snake immediately stopped. Yuki gave Hatori a look that said, "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

"Okay..." he sighed and left the room. As Ayame left, Ritsu decided to pay a little visit.

"Oh, hello Ritsu!" Tohru called out happily.

"Oh, hello..." the monkey greeted back shyly.

"Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy, I can tell you're in touch with your feminine side," Tohru sang out. Ritsu blanched.

"I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS THAT GIRLY! I'LL TRY TO BE MORE MANLY! I'M SO SORRY!" he yelled while running around the room. Yuki sighed and poked him like Shigure does.

"Uh...Tohru, do you really think that was a good thing to say to him?" Hatori asked, sounding only slightly amused. Because that's as much amusement as he could ever show. Poor Dr. Depression...

"I was trying to compliment him," Tohru responded sheepishly.

"Oh...bad attempt," Haru pointed out. That's when Kyo decided to come downstairs.

"Hey, don't be mean you stupid cow," the cat yelled angrily. Haru turned to face him and just stared. "What, you so stupid that you can't even comprehend what I said? I guess the cow really is a fool," Kyo laughed.

"Don't judge me based on some story and laugh. I'LL KILL YOU!" Haru yelled, maniacal smile plastered on his face. It was pretty obvious that 'Black Haru' had come out to play. And boy, was he going to play.

"You're so stupid," Kyo snickered idiotically. Haru charged at him and started repeatedly punching his face in. "OW OW OW OW OKAY SHEESH! WHY DON'T YOU GO BEAT UP THE DAMN RAT!" Kyo cried. Haru immediately changed back to 'White Haru' when he heard 'Yuki'.

"Yuki? Where?" he asked. When he saw Yuki, he gravitated towards him and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Hello...Haru..." Yuki sighed. Tohru went back to being her usual space-cadet self.

"Should I make dinner?" she inquired innocently.

"As long as there are no leeks involved," Kyo sighed. Yuki simply nodded, trying in vain to push Haru away from him. He wasn't in the mood for this right now he had things to do and people to see! Well...not really, but still...

"...Well, I think I should take Momiji and Hatsuharu back to the compound now," Hatori sighed and dragged Momiji and Haru out the hole in the wall by the ears.

"Aw...I want to stay though!" Momiji whined. Hatori just ignored him.

"Well then, goodbye Hatori, Hatsuharu, Momiji!" Tohru waved. Then Shigure came back into the room.

"I'm bringing sexy back! Them other boys don't know how to act-" he began, but Kyo knocked him over the forehead before he got any farther into the song.

"OH DEAR LORD WHHYYYYY?" Yuki cried and ran to his room, slamming the door.

"Oh...my god!" Tohru began to panic. Kyo just face-palmed.

"Damn rat probably went insane or something..." he muttered. He smirked, getting an idea. However, when he tried walking again, he tripped and fell on his face.

"KYO ARE YOU OKAY?" Tohru asked, struggling to pull the cat off of the floor.

"Uh...OF COURSE I'M OKAY WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK I'M WEAK?" the orange-top screeched then ran to his room, climbing out the window onto the roof. He was grumbling as usual. Tohru looked crest-fallen.

"I'm sorry..." she mumbled to no one in particular. Then the onigiri girl cheerfully went to fix dinner, trying to forget what had just happened.

Because it made absolutely no sense.

No sense whatsoever.

And everyone knew that.

So they put the incident behind them and thanked the heavens that Akito hadn't showed up..


End file.
